Unpleasant Atmosphere in the Bedroom? Try this ‘Fart-Free’ Valentine’s Day Chicken Madr-ass

Copyright, Belters News

Love really is in the air…
An Anglo-Indian nutritionist has created the perfect lockdown meal for Valentine’s Day – the world’s first FART-FREE curry.
Gurpareet Bains’ take on the traditional chicken madras promises to “light a fire in our hearts”, and not our bottoms, on February 14th.
Unlike most curries, the low-fat dish contains none of the ingredients that normally trigger post-dinner flatulence.
The normal lashings of onions, garlic and chili – all known culprits of unpleasant gas – have been reduced by half.
And standard table salt is replaced with black salt, which aids digestion and reduces the noise and odour of any “embarrassing little slips”.
Fennel seeds, cardamoms, cloves and ginger, meanwhile, are all tried and tested flatulence aids used to treat gastrointestinal ailments.
Breaking wind after eating cannot be entirely avoided because it is a natural by-product of digestion.
But Bains said his curry is a safer bet than most, especially for those with sensitive stomachs.
The recipe – designed specifically for a Valentine’s Day in lockdown – offers an inexpensive romantic meal for two without the risk of flatulence, or worse, in the bedroom, he said.
Bains, an award-winning chef and bestselling cookery author, first hit the headlines in 2009 after creating a cancer-fighting superfood curry.
His fans now include a host of celebrities including DJ Chris Evans, designer Vivienne Westwood, and the Royal Family.
He said: “Lockdown romance is hard enough without any embarrassing little slips on Valentine’s Day.
“This curry should – and I must stress should – guarantee an incident-free evening.”